Only on Setting Two
by JesterTheGreat
Summary: Artemis, with Butler's help, uses an exercise bike for the first time. OneShot, no slash. First time ever writing here so be critical please.


Only on Setting 2

Artemis Fowl was sweating.

I mean, truly sweating. _This is quite irritating._ He didn't know how Butler had convinced him to do this. _Totally absurd use of my time._ It was nearly impossible for him to sit up straight on his chair, and grip the handlebars correctly. He lay slumped, the intensity burning at his quads.

The heart rate read 175 in red LED lettering across the top of his new exercise bike. Artemis knew from his medical training as well as a quick refresher search across the internet that at this level, he was burning a lot of the glucose in his blood stream. He also knew that the burning was caused by a lack of oxygen to his muscles, and a replacement of said oxygen by lactic acid. He was well acquainted with all of these facts, having read several university level books on the subject. _But not one of those damned books had warned him of the pain of extended exercise._

Butler came into the room.

"Master Artemis, you should really sit up. Then you will work your core muscles as well."

"Damnit gasp, Butler! I gasp can't." _Wow, this is quite pathetic, having myself reduced to the vocabulary of a third grader._

In a less professional man, Butler's expression would have been considered a smirk.

"You really should reduce the intensity of the bike, a heart rate of…" he checked the reading "…183 isn't training you at all. It is much too high to increase your cardiovascular endurance."

Artemis looked at his monitor, and indeed, the reading was now at 183. He welcomed the chance to reduce the intensity of the exercise. As he was doing so, he noted the time he had done so far. _8 minutes? I've only done 8 minutes of this?_ This annoyed Artemis to no end, because he was looking forward to finishing up. Butler had told him to do at least 20 minutes to start out with.

_Of course, I must do something to occupy my time._ Artemis had studied the effects of exercise on the brain, and although he knew the laws of association, which stated that if he brought work to the machine he would imbed exercise in his subconscious mind as more of a chore than as a good thing. _However, the opposite is true as well. If I go on a healthy daydream, I will be able to keep my mind off things, while encouraging my perception of exercise as pleasurable._

There was only problem with this idea. Artemis couldn't even remember the last time he had enjoyed a daydream. This fact surprised Artemis so much that he exercised, not even complaining, for a few minutes. Artemis took pride in not wasting time, and he considered daydreaming one of the extreme wastes of time. Yet, in this situation, daydreaming would be of a great benefit to him. _Really, I must pursue this matter in greater depth when I am finished._

At this point Artemis realized that he had done 12 minutes of exercise already. He was genuinely surprised. This also was a rare occurrence for him. E_xercise seems to be an interesting way to unlock parts of your thinking._ Artemis locked this piece of information away in his mind. _It might be beneficial for my…well…thinking._

Artemis then took stock of his body, and how it seemed to be reacting. He knew of course that when doing the same amount of exercise repetitively, the body tended to stabilize the amount of energy burned. He had seen this referred to as "finding the cadence". But he had never **felt** the change. He had thought that the painful sensations running all throughout his legs would continue to get worse and worse as he exercised, but it seemed the hardest part was the first few minutes, afterwards his body had settled into the rhythm of exercise. He felt exhaustion in his limbs, but it no longer seemed to get worse at the same rate, rather, he felt that he could exercise for longer.

Artemis had done 15 minutes of exercise. Now came the hardest part. Butler had programmed a hidden routine into the bike. The intensity Artemis had adjusted earlier was just the average intensity, and the intensity fluctuated depending on what Butler had programmed earlier. But as soon as Butler had left the room, Artemis had figured out how to display the hidden routine. As it was, this was the hardest part, as intensity kept increasing to the very max possible, then finished with 1 minute of cool-down. Artemis knew he would welcome the relief, but he needed to concentrate on the work ahead.

The sweat poured from his hair into his eyes, stinging them with their saltiness. He rose onto his seat, and began putting his defeated leg muscles to work. His gluteus muscles, as well as his calves, were into the workout now, and his quad muscles had never been used this much.

Even when Artemis had the option, at St. Bartlebays, to do Physical Education, he had chosen not to, and instead fit in more classes. He now regretted it, as the intensity kept on increasing. He was off his seat now, raised standing into the air, to get the max possible work from his legs. His eyes glued to the machine, he concentrated on his breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth in a great gust. He knew that oxygen wasn't a problem, because 75 of the air you breathe out is oxygen. He also knew that this type of breathing would help remove lactic acid from his legs.

_Well, here comes the worst part…_Artemis had reached the peak intensity. He was gripping the handlebars so tightly that his hands started to hurt. 10…9…8…he could barely hold on…5…4…3…So Close! 2…1…time seemed to slow down until…

**0**!

Immediately the intensity slacked off, and Artemis was forced to sit down to keep his highly strung legs from falling off the pedals. He felt the rush of endorphins and dopamine engulf him, something that was usually reserved for when he pulled off one of his schemes. He checked his heart rate. 185. Oh well, he had tried to keep it down.

A few minutes later, Butler came into a very wet Artemis Fowl II drinking gulps from a bottle of mineral water.

"That was…intense"

"Well get used to it. You're going to have to do it all summer. I was just off the phone with your mother, and she says an exercise regimen would be perfect for you. We're also going to be purchasing a weight rack."

Artemis waved Butler off. "Fine, Fine" His breathing was still coming in great gulps, and he could literally hear his heart thudding away in his chest, and he could feel the vibrations in his throat. "Well, at the very least I managed to do it."

This brought out an outright chuckle from Butler. "Master Artemis, did you check to see what setting I put the machine on?"

Artemis checked, and saw the machine was on setting two. "Two…why?"

"Well, that's setting two of forty"


End file.
